“In the vast array of genre fans — from Klingon-speaking Trekkies to teenage goth-girl Twihards to suicidal Avatards who don’t want to live on a planet that doesn’t bioluminesce — no one is quite as annoying as the Lostie. The difference is simple: those who love Star Trek or Twilight or Avatar imagine themselves inhabiting that fictional world; they do what they can to separate themselves from us normal folk who enjoy the simple realities of watching sports, having beers with friends, and engaging in sex that generally doesn’t require costumes or stage makeup. Lost fans, however, walk among us. They don’t entertain fantasies of living on the Island; they wish only to discuss the various theories that might unlock the Gordian knot the show’s writers have concocted. The key word there is discuss: they mustn’t know any tiny detail of the show until they witness it with their own eyes, lest their rapturous viewing experience be sullied by spoilers on the Internet. In the meantime, they’ll check their Facebook and Twitter accounts while they wait to watch the show on their DVR. Pray you didn’t mention Lost in your status update.”